Posted by: diapersanddivas | July 6, 2009

The Wardrobe Wars….

Ah yes…I remember it well…the days when I would skip happily to my closet in the morning to pick out what would be the cute, fashionable ensemble-of-the-day that would declare to the world “Look at me!  I’m sexy, sassy, and FABULOUS!!” I could grab heels for day, not just a night out.  I didn’t have to worry about how short the skirt or how slinky the fabric (unless of course it was totally inappropriate office wear).  Never did i have “conditions” that my clothes had to meet.

Those days are, sadly, gone.

Now I reluctantly drag myself into my “pit of despair” closet that is full of doubt, anxiety, and daily self criticism. I swear that my clothes have waged war on me from the moment that pregnancy test said positive.  No longer can i just reach for the skinny jeans or the reliable denim mini.  I can’t just say “Oh…this is cute…let’s throw this on”.  Now my clothes have to go through a rigorous screening process in order for me to get them on my body that day.  First and foremost….they have to fit…and the battle with the body is a WHOLE other subject entirely that we’ll save for another time.  One war at a time.  Then after I’m succesful in finding jeans I can squeeze into (with bending and stretching and getting a child into the carseat of an SUV, skirts are just out of the question)…I have to make sure that whatever I wear camoflages spills and spit up, has pockets for keys, toys, or the occasional wipe that has no trash can to throw in at the moment.  No belts…you don’t want to be scratching those precious little legs resting at your hips, and tops must be able to withstand grabbing little hands and wiggly little bodies so that there are no unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions in the parking lot of Target.  After examining every blouse, tank, tee, button up….I end up with the standard jeans and t-shirt, and it PISSES me off to no end!

I always swore that I would never be one of “those moms” who didn’t care about their appearance or didn’t take care of the way they look.  I say this now wholeheartedly….I COMPLETELY apologize to those moms…because I have become one of you.  I realize now that it’s not you that chooses to wear the uniform of moms, but it’s you’re dailey duties of child rearing that designate your wardrobe.  I understand now….i totally get it.

You know, damn Stacey and Clinton for telling the public that jeans and tees are not appropriate day wear.  Sometimes you just have to do what your situation demands. 

But….I do see a light….I see a walking, self feeding, potty trained little person in the future…I see a day where I can once again wear those cute slingbacks or wedges during the day, or the occasional skirt and strapless top.  But until then, the fight will continue and you may have won the battle today, closet, but the war is not over…..and one day…ONE day….I will win.

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Responses

  1. haha i really enjoyed these posts!! thank you for my break from work 🙂

  2. That is until you get preggo again and baby #2 changes your body and you have to wear the Mom uniform again! 😉 😉 😉


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